Time Doesn't Measure Up
by SeventhSenses
Summary: So much happened in that one month before the match where Sasuke was to face Gaara. Things that Sasuke hid from the world. Oneshot.


AN: Originally this was going to be a parody, but it ended up a bit more dramatic and sad. It's about the month when Sasuke was training for the chuunin exams after the preliminaries, I could have made it into some long drawn out story but as it is it's a oneshot with no actual dialogue. Anyways, read and review.

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A month ago was when all the changes started. Before that Sasuke had been happy, or at least at happy as he could probably be. The last month had been torture, and no one knew….

After the preliminaries for the chuunin exams, Kakashi had decided to stop training Naruto and Sakura, deciding Sasuke needed his special attention. At first Sasuke thought that it might be a good thing. Naruto and Sakura weren't as good as him and they could just be holding him back. After the first training session with Kakashi, Sasuke wished that he could be back training with Naruto and Sakura.

Without being able to beat Naruto, his rival, at any opportunity, Sasuke started to get a bit discouraged. It's not like the training wasn't going great, but Kakashi was pushing him extremely hard and even when he pushed himself Kakashi insisted he do more. It was starting to make him depressed.

Then there was that one fateful day when Kakashi was starting to show him his original move. Sasuke had easily acquired the fast speed needed for it, although found that it took a lot of chakra. On his first attempt it had backfired and he had managed to slash himself in the arm.

He didn't cry out in pain when he felt it, it almost felt good. Compared to the emotional strain of being away from the people closest to him and being pushed too hard it didn't feel bad at all. It was almost a form of relief, to remind himself that he was human.

Kakashi had been mortified to see the wound Sasuke had inflicted on himself. He rushed him to the hospital to heal it, without knowing that one move had changed Sasuke.

Sasuke's clothes had been stained with blood from his arm so he decided to get something new. Normally he would just go home and change into one of his other outfits that were identical to the one he had ruined. This time, however, he decided to go shopping.

Instead of going for his usual blue and white he found something in black. It was just black and quite plain. When Kakashi asked, Sasuke claimed it was so that it wouldn't show the dirt. Having seen the dirt on Sasuke's outfit before Kakashi had no trouble believing it.

The next day Kakashi had pushed Sasuke even harder and halfway through the day he had wanted to take a break. He wanted to see Sakura and Naruto, at least when he was around them there was always something to laugh or smile at even if he didn't choose to.

Kakashi had outright refused Sasuke's request for some time off, claiming he had to perfect the move before he could take a break. Sasuke sighed, but resigned himself to training some more.

That night when Sasuke went home he went into the bathroom and pulled out one of his shurikens. He held his breath as he scraped the blade lightly across his wrist, cutting through the skin easily and causing blood to drip out of the wound. Sasuke groaned happily as he washed away the blood.

The next day Kakashi had almost immediately noticed the red line down Sasuke's wrist. He had claimed it was just a normal training wound that would heal soon; he had just been pushing too much the day before.

Kakashi believed Sasuke, but much to Sasuke's disappointment Kakashi didn't push him any less. At least Sasuke was getting better at perfecting the move which kept him going, knowing that soon he would be able to take a break.

That night, Sasuke took out his shuriken again that night. He held the shuriken close against his skin, but put it back in his pouch without cutting himself. Kakashi was smart and would start to get suspicious if he was a new cut on his wrist every night. Besides, the day hadn't been nearly as bad as the day before.

He had sighed before heading to bed, they had been training late and he was tired.

It was a week later before Sasuke had finally perfected the move Kakashi had been trying to teach him. He was relieved and instantly asked to take a break so he could go and talk to Naruto and Sakura. Kakashi once again refused, stating that Naruto would probably be busy training and wouldn't want to be interrupted for no reason.

Sasuke had been in a bad mood for the rest of the day. He tried harder than he had before, but only in the hopes of hurting Kakashi and not in the hopes of bettering himself. Kakashi had let him out an hour early than the rest of the week, as a kind of reward for working so hard. Sasuke hadn't thanked him as it hardly seemed like a reward to stop training before midnight.

Once he reached his house Sasuke walked straight into the bathroom. More than anything he wanted to make Kakashi pay for pushing him past him limit and making him work nonstop, except for short breaks for lunch and dinner. He knew he'd never be able to hurt Kakashi, and if he did Kakashi would probably refuse to continue training him. Although Sasuke hated Kakashi sometimes he knew how much Kakashi had helped him with his fighting skills, perfecting the small details and even trusting him with his original move.

With all of that in mind, Sasuke raised the shuriken to his other arm. He pushed it in a bit deeper than he had the week before but not deep enough to do any permanent or serious damage. He pulled it across his skin, letting out a satisfied moan as the blood began to flow. He wrapped a bandage around his arm as to not get blood everywhere. Still, Sasuke was not satisfied. His life still hurt too much, his anger was still too much.

He went back a second time, on his other arm, watching as the blood dropped into the sink. He pulled on another bandage and finally feeling satisfied he washed the blood off of his shuriken and stuck it back in his pouch. He washed the blood out of the sink and went to bed.

The next day before he started training Sasuke bought some more new clothes, this time to hide the scabs and the marks. He pulled the bandages off and washed off all of the dried blood before putting on his new clothes.

Kakashi hadn't known the entire month. He pushed Sasuke harder and harder, trying to make sure he would win his match. Sasuke had continued to cut, the scars lining up in neat rows across his arms. Sometimes he would reopen the old wounds, not wanting to make a new mark on his skin.

His skin was something that made Sasuke who he was, someone every girl in the village wanted, even those who were married. No one could see the pain he hid inside, no one could see the scars that symbolized the anger and sadness he felt.

That was how he liked it, not letting anyone get to close. No one was let inside the shell he built around himself; no one even knew the shell existed. After all, Sasuke never acted any differently so no one knew how much he had really changed.

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AN: Thanks for reading, and please, no one complain that they hate that Sasuke's emo in this story. That was the point.


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